wat bout pragnant strippers??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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