batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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