I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
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