i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
