69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
