Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
