Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize