Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
