someone get that fucking seahorse.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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