I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
