I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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