well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
