I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
