His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
