Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
