brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
