All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
