She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
