I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
