Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
