Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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