i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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