I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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