I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
