ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
