Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
