I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
