I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize