I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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