Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
