so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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