It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Couch. On fire.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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