I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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