dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
