I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
