ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize