Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
