I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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