I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
