Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
