So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
