Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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