Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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