just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
