Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
