happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
