i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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