PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize