so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
