If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
