You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
