May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have feelings that need drinking.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
