Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
