the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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