I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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