Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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