Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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