Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
