That's when you crack a 10am beer
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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