when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
