it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
