he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
