i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
