But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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