After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
