whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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