WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
